Sources are saying that Ashlee Simpson arrived at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in LA at 5AM this morning, and doctors were forced to induce labor cause the kid refused to come out on its own.
Ashlee’s dad Joe arrived at the hospital about a hour ago, and Pete Wentz and Ash’s big sis Jessica are both believed to be there as well. No official word yet, but we’re pretty sure the raisin has arrived!
I know, they’re still in the news.
-Reports are claiming that Guy Ritchie and Madonna are set to begin their divorce proceedings tomorrow in London. The official split will be finalized in about six weeks.
-Some sources are claiming that Guy Ritchie, nice guy that he is, has decided not to take any money from Madonna, and only wants shared custody of the couple’s two kids, which he’s agreeing will be able to split their time between London and New York. That should make for some well adjusted kids. Kids: “Mommy, I want to see daddy.” Madonna: “Ok, just put on your germ protection suits and get on the plane. Make sure you give daddy this list of rules when you get there.”
-But.. now some insiders in Madonna’s camp are saying that Guy is lying, and that he is expecting to get a nice chunk of change from his soon-to-be ex-wife.
Now that Guydonna is back in the news in full effect, expect daily updates from now until… oh, eternity.
Forbes has released their list of “The 10 Hottest Celebrity Tots”, and only included kids under 5, so Maddox Jolie-Pitt got too big to make it on the list. Three of his siblings showed up on it though, and Suri Cruise took the top spot which is weird cause that kid effing hates the press. Forbes chose her because she had the most blog mentions above any other celebaby. Half of those blogs were probably just musing about what planet she hailed from.
Here’s the rest of the list, if you so care.
Suri Cruise
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
Zahara Jolie-Pitt
Pax Jolie-Pitt
Sam Alexis Wood
Cruz Beckham
Matilda Rose Ledger
David Banda
Sean Preston Federline
Sam Sheen
I wonder why Violet Affleck didn’t make it on the list. She’s like the only spawn I can think of that I can’t find a way to make fun of, no matter how hard I try.
Jessica Simpson appeared on Ellen Degeneres’ show yesterday (the episode’s airing tomorrow) where she basically said that her sister Ashlee’s baby was so scared to come out and meet its parents, that it’s refusing to make its way down the birth canal.
Jessica reports that Ashlee is now trying to force the thing out with foot massages and jumping. Like that’s going to convince it. She claims that the doctors are probably going to have to induce labor, giving the baby no choice but to meet its grubby parents and crazy grampa Joe.
Billy Ray Cyrus had so much fun pimping out his kid, Miley, that he’s moving on to giving some helpful advice to the Obamas about whether or not to get their kids Malia and Sasha into acting.
Billy Ray and Miley originally offered the girls parts in an upcoming Hannah Montana episode, but the Obamas have declined the invitation. Billy Ray’s responds with a deep southern drawl,
As a daddy, I’ll say to him what I say to any daddy, you may not want your daughter to get into show business, but if the girls want to be on the show, and him and his wife think it’s a good idea, I always say, everything in life, what’s meant to be will happen.
If not, it’s probably a good thing also because these girls are going to be in a unique spotlight, and they really do need to walk with certainty and care. I can see many reasons why it would be fun for them to do the show, but I also see a couple other reasons… I don’t know.
I’ll leave it up to faith. I think God has a plan for everything. I have no doubt if it’s meant to be. I’ll look up and see them some time before April.
Yes, I’m sure god will bring Barack Obama’s daughters for you to pimp out in April if that is his plan.
Angelina Jolie tells BBC News that she’ll probably quit acting soon to focus on her kids. She says,
I don’t plan to keep acting very long. I’m ready to do a few things now and fade away and get ready to be a grandma one day. I’m not so worried that I want to keep this pace up and try to be soemthing and be a celebrity.
Angelina says she’ll probably do a movie every few years if it feels right, but won’t be keeping up her current pace in the future.
Hey Angie, there’s this thing called a nanny, and it’s a really cool invention. If you get enough of them, you can have as many kids as you like and never be home to raise them. It’s way fun, and a great tool to use if you’re into collecting kids, you know, like you are.
Now that Britney Spears’ 2-year-old is out of the hospital, OK Magazine’s printing details about his illness.
They say that Jayden had breathing problems during a barbecue at Britney’s Kentwood, LA home, so Britney called 911. She was told that an ambulance would take a half hour to get to their estate, so she had a bodyguard drive her son to Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center instead.
After a number of tests, the doctors determined that Jayden suffered an allergic reaction to shellfish.
Jayden’s dad Kevin is now also speaking out about the incident, and no, he’s not ready to beat Britney with a shoe and demand that she never see the kid again. Instead, he’s praising her for her sharp attention and quick thinking. Kevin’s rep says,
We’re pleased that someone was aware enough to see that he was having some sort of reaction and do what was necessary to make sure there were no chances taken and got Jayden to the appropriate facility and got the appropriate evaluation to be timely.
I anticipate that Kevin and Britney as concerned parents will exchange information and satisfy themselves that what happened was a freak occurrence and do what they have to do to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.
Kevin was considering going to Louisiana, but the information that we had was Jayden was already checked out. The kids will be back with Kevin shortly, not yet
Jayden looks to be all better now. Britney took him and the rest of her family to an alligator farm yesterday. I’m glad she waited till he was all better to do that. I hear sick children just aren’t quite as tasty as healthy ones.
Adam Sandler and his wife Jackie announced yesterday that they welcomed their second baby on November 2. They named the girl Sunny Madeline, and according to Adam’s website, “everyone is happy and healthy.”
Sunny joins her older sister, Sadie Madison.
Nicole Kidman shows off a cute picture of herself pretending to sleep next to Sunday Rose on the Oprah Winfrey show. That pic is sooo posed.
Also, can someone please explain to me why all the other celeb blogs are referring to this thing as Sunday Roast? Finally, that Oprah’s got some wrinkly fingers.
Jordan, who normally pimps out hair products, bedding, horse clothes, people clothes, among other strange things is now moving on to pimping out her kids.
Jordan, AKA Katie Price’s 16-month-old daughter Princess Tiaamii (yes, that’s its real name) is now going to model party dresses for Prima Baby and Pregnancy magazine. Jordan’s also looking forward to getting her 3-year-old Junior into modeling as well. No mention of what she wants to do with her blind 6-year-old Harvey who probably lives in a cage.
She says,
She’s going to be on the cover of Prima Baby, modeling party dresses. I’d like to get her and Junior into modeling. I think most parents would probably like to get their kids into modeling.
Yes, most parents LOVE pimping out their kids. I know some, like Michael and Dina Lohan.
Do they have rehab for 2-year-olds?
Guy Ritchie picked up his kids Rocco and David at London’s Gatwick Airport yesterday after Madonna finally let the poor guy see his kids.
Eyewitnesses say that both boys were excited to see their dad, and that Guy even littered his coffee cup by throwing it on the floor to “free up his hands and run over.” Tisk tisk guy, Madonna would sooo bitch slap you for that if you were still married.
Speaking of Madonna’s control-freakish nature, she’s also issued a list of rules for Guy to follow while the kids are with him.
We hear that the kids can’t make any “new friends” while they’re with their dad, the kids can only eat macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic meals, and can’t drink anything other than Kabbalah water. They’re forbidden from watching TV or DVDs, reading newspapers or magazines. They can’t wear anything that isn’t 100% natural, and can’t play with any toys that aren’t spiritually and ethically sound. They also can only read books from Madonna’s English Rose collection. Madonna’s also insisting that Guy regularly cleans the kids hands with disinfectant spray. Lastly, she’s demanding that she speak with the boys three times a day, and is not allowing guy to talk about the break-up with his kids.
Geez….
This is the first time Guy’s seen his kids since he and Madonna announced their split last month. The boys are expected to stay with Guy for the next week.
Britney rushed 2-year-old Jayden James to a hospital in Mississippi yesterday after Jayden suffered a suspected seizure. The Sun is reporting that he was “lapsing into a vague and unresponsive state”.
Doctors are still trying to determine the cause of the seizure. The boy was reportedly relaxing with his family at 3 PM yesterday when he suddenly lost consciousness. Britney called an ambulance, and rushed Jayden to the hospital.
Britney and the boys were in Kentwood Louisiana visiting family in Britney’s first trip out of California with her kids after she lost custody of them to ex-husband Kevin Federline. Kevin is reportedly now making plans now to fly out to Mississippi to be with Jayden.
Brad Pitt reveals two very interesting things on the Oprah Winfrey Show.
1. Pax is more badass than Maddox. He may not have the mohawk, but he did once respond to a time out by peeing on the timeout chair. Hey, I did that too! …Last week…
2. Shiloh is really into Peter Pan, and will only respond to the names John and Peter, making her the first Jolie-Pitt kid with a possible gender identity issue.
Oh it must be loads of fun in the Brangelina dwelling.
Minnie Driver, who recently gave birth to her son Henry had originally said that her mystery baby daddy would be around to help raise the kid, but now, Page Six has a source calling false on those claims. The source says,
She told him she was pregnant, and he just left her. That’s why she’s been very quiet about the situation.
Some industry sources are claiming that Driver was dating a TV writer when she got pregnant. Others are suggesting rocker Craig Zolezzi may be responsible for the accident.
Guy Ritchie has reportedly hired Stephen Cobb QC, a leading UK divorce attorney to fight to prevent Madonna from taking his kids back to the US where he’ll never ever see them again.
I think all Guy really needs to do to keep his kids is just flash the judge Madonna’s plastic body suit. If that doesn’t work, just give him a glass of the Holy Kabbalah water. That should do the trick.
