Kerry Katona, mother of four is losing deals left and right. The former coke addict who recently filed for bankruptcy and lost her job writing for OK Magazine has now just learned that MTV has dropped her new reality show which was set to follow her music comeback in Nashville.

A source at MTV says,

Kerry is in no fit state to make a show. We have to wait and see how she fares in the immediate future. We want to see if she can start taking care of herself.

Kerry recently admitted that she was an alcoholic after appearing on British TV acting like her brain fell out her eyes.

Well at least Kerry’s husband can pay the bills till she gets back on her feet…. oh wait, he’s a cab driver. Welfare?

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Britney Spears admits in a new promo for her documentary that she made a mistake when she married grease monkey, K-Fed. And I’m guessing Brit’s first marriage was a mistake too. Maybe the third one will be better.

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Britney Spears’ documentary “For The Record” airs in a couple weeks, but we’re already hearing quotes from the film, which show that Brit will probably fall off the rocker again sometime soon. She says a few things about her conservatorship which demonstrate that she’s probably pretty happy with the arrangement (NOT!). Brit says,

There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail, y’know, there’s the time when you’re gonna get out.

I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening. If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I’m having to pay for a long time. I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free. I think I’ve learnt my lesson now and enough is enough.

Do you feel sad for Brit? Sniff…

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Amy Winehouse surprised everyone on Saturday by spending her night playing guitar in her apartment instead of running around town drunk in a bra and stringy vest. Looks like someones becoming a little pussy. Come on Amy, bring the badassedness back.

The girl toned it down so much for the night, that she even refused to smuggle crack into rehab for Blake, who reportedly texted her from a rehab bathroom begging her to bring him a fix.

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Amy Winehouse crept out of her hole last night to find her husband Blake, who she must have forgotten is still in rehab.

She was seen banging on the door of her old apartment, screaming for her crackhead partner. The Mirror is reporting that witnesses saw Amy with sores on her face, clutching a bottle of vodka, running around the neighborhood screaming and,”signing autographs along the way.” LOL.

Blake is supposedly leaving rehab tomorrow, so hopefully last night’s incident will not be repeating itself.

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No literally. The Daily Mail has pictures proving that Amy Winehouse sucked on some guy’s knuckle before blacking out in a cab.

That’s nice.

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We hear that Amy Winehouse is now back in the hospital (no, you’re not crazy, she was just there last week). She was admitted to a London Clinic for a chest infection, and also wanted to get checked out to make sure nothing else was wrong.

Doctors told Amy to quit smoking.

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Word is that Kerry Katona, who recently lost her job writing for OK Magazine is now going to Nashville to relaunch her music career as what The Sun is calling “The new Dolly Parton”.  Too bad Kerry just got her boobs chopped off.

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Joaquin Phoenix quit acting to do music or something like that. Defamer has gotten their hands on the video of Joaquin making his declaration for E! cameras.

Watch the clip here.

TMZ is also now reporting that Joaquin has just put his 3,200 sq. foot Hollywood Hills house on the market for $3,975,000.

Pills?

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Kerry Katona, who recently filed for bankruptcy has just lost her job writing for OK Magazine after her drugged up appearance on UK morning TV. Those editors over at OK musta got sick of working so hard to make Kerry sound half comprehensible.

Apparently, the former druggie/mother of four was relying on the cash from the mag deal to pay her bills. Now, she’ reportedly going to have to go to her sugar daddy husband, Mark Croft (the taxi driver) for green.

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So check this out, The California Courts website has a list of what exactly gets controlled in a conservatee’s life. Listed below are all the things that Britney’s dad Jamie Spears gets to dictate in the formerly trainwrecked pop tart’s world.

* Arrange for the conservatee’s care and protection;
* Decide where the conservatee will live; and
* Are in charge of:
o health care,
o food,
o clothes, personal care,
o housekeeping, transportation, and
o recreation.

The site does say that Brit retains the right to get married, and get her own mail. Well it’s good that Brit can pull another Vegas if she wanted too, but I’m really concerned about the mail thing. Are we sure we really want the mental case, loose on our streets CHECKING THE MAIL!!!!????!!!

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After Kerry’s disastrous appearance on British TV the other day (above), her publicist Max Clifford has finally spoken out about the incident. Max, who just announced that Kerry’s fired him as her agent, tells The presses,

All I can say is that from knowing Kerry as well as I do, I don’t personally believe she is in a good place at the moment. What people who are around her tell me makes me increasingly worried. People around her are telling me that she is drinking more and more, earlier and earlier’… All I can say is that Mark was happy for Kerry to go on This Morning which says a lot. Mark is at the centre of Kerry’s life and so you can’t overestimate the effect he has on her life. She loves him to bits and therefore he has an impact on everything she does.

Max admits he hasn’t spoken to Kerry since her half-retard appearance on TV because he says that she’s been avoiding him.

BTW, Kerry’s current husband, Mark is a former cab driver and drug dealer.

And… word on the streets says that Kerry’s ex, Brian McFadden is now looking to gain custody of the couple’s two kids. Probably cause he’s afraid they’ll magically turn into little crackwhores under her care.

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Britney Spears’ conservatorship was set to expire on Dec. 31, but her lawyers have just convinced a judge to make the ruling permanent. And why would Brit actually want people to control her life? TMZ is reporting that it might make it easier for Brit to regain custody of her kids.

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Amy Winehouse’s mom is coming to crackhead’s defense after people have started criticizing the singer for being a bad influence on her 12-year-old goddaughter Dionne who she’s been chilling with a lot lately. Winehouse’s mom Janis says,

Amy takes Dionne very seriously. She’s a very sweet girl and Amy has a lot of hope for Dionne’s future.

I think she sees some of herself in Dionne, which is why she wants to look out for her.

Yeah, I agree. Hanging out in bars and passing out in public places=good wholesome kid entertainment. Carry on, Amy.

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OK Magazine is now publishing details on Heather’s DUI.  Apparently it occurred while she and her fiance Jack Wagner were on vacation to celebrate her 47th birthday.

Heather had driven to the store to buy cigarettes on Saturday.  On her way out of the store, there were three cars in the parking lot, and according to a source, Heather couldn’t figure out which car was hers.  She finally picked one, dropped her Gucci sunglasses on the ground, and got into her car and backed over her glasses, driving over them twice before leaving the lot.

Now the story starts to get really weird.  Heather got lost while trying to go back to her hotel, and ended up at Oprah Winfrey’s house.  She then got out of the car, and tried to push it down the road.  She got back into the car, but didn’t close the door, and started to drive down the street with the car door open.

Some person on the road figured they should call 911 at that point, which prompted a cop to pull Heather over within minutes.  She was arrested and booked at Santa Barbara County Jail where her really attractive mugshot was taken.  Heather was deemed not to be a flight risk, and was released to Jack a couple hours later.

Party at Oprah Winfrey’s house!!!

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